Look.
If you know anything about me, you know I don’t
like to be mean about people. But sometimes I have to draw the line.
I have had some magazines donated to me. I love
reading through magazines. Some of them have interesting articles, others have
pretty pictures. The one I’m about to discuss definately falls in the latter
category.
“You are right In November’s Citrus Crush when
you say “few of us woud dare include a bright orange piece….among our
season staples”. My mother who has incredible fashion sense, gave me a
bright orange skirt for my birthday. Smiling sweetly and thanking her, I put it
straight to the back of my cupboard. Little did I know Vogue had deemed it a vibrant season colour.
After seeing your magazine dedicate an entire page [A whole fucken
page, dig] to orange, I have now teemed this skirt with a black sheer
top and black sandals and recieved several compliments. Thank you Vogue [because I am a cretin who can’t think for
herself] and , of course my mum!
Well. Isn’t she a chick living on the edge! At the
dead-set forefront with a whole page of fashionable people wearing a certain
colour! How stoked am I that Patti donated her bright orange, leather jacket to
me! I loved it before, but now I can be so happy that I will be wearing an
‘in’ colour. Better not let Patti see Vogue – she’ll want it back!
But hang on to your trendy hats –
that wasn’t even the best letter…
“Good riddance to those ugly humungous totes.
Every time I take mine for an outing, I suffer from “It bag shoulder” – even when the bag is empty
it weighs a ton.[I’ve heard there is a cure for that. It’s called,
Harden the Fuck Up]. I’m happy to see the tote is being nudged
out by the much daintier frame bag. [This chick’s punctuation is shithouse] I
loved your selectionin the January issue, especially the exquisite buttercup
yellow Christian Dior suede bag with the gorgeous tortoiseshell-style frame.
It’s a work of art. [!art! For the uninitiated, the ‘frame’ bag is
nice, functional, and something you last saw on your Grandmother’s arm] But
one question: now that these bags are half the size, why not half the price?
OOoh! Pick Me! Pick Me! I know the answer!
‘Cos you idiots will keep coming in year after
year, an paying whatever is asked, as long as someone has told you it is
fashionable.
Ok. I don’t like to speak ill of people. I didn’t
include their names. But really, these people need to be having a sit down in
the old room of mirrors.
They need to have a bit of a look at themselves,
and say “Wait!”, “Even if I do feel the need to be told what to
wear, should I be broadcasting that need to the general public?”
As a fairly blatant attempt at a
segue, I will mention that I had a lovely day at the art gallery
yesterday (totally oblivious to the fact that it rained and hailed
so much at my house that verandah furniture floated metres, and most of my
frangis have holey leaves) and, I wore my gold lame pants in the daytime,
tucked into boots. So There. This is surely a henious fashion crime, punishable
by meeting the authors of those letters to the editor. But I wore them because
I love them. That’s why I wear what I wear.
It
toned in well with Henry Moore
And that’s all that really counts in fashion, isn’t it?
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